my current therapist [me] says i should counter every negative thought by coming up with a positive thought to cancel it out.
so.
- i'm sick of hearing the pounding bass and shitty auto-tune that hurts my ears every time someone 'bumps' their music when driving down my street.
+ i can always put on headphones and listen to the good music on my ipod.
- my ipod is broken.
+ i can listen to music on my computer.
- my computer is broken too.
+ i can use someone else's computer, like i'm doing now.
- this computer is annoying.
+ i can take a break from using the computer by reading instead.
- all my books are buried in a giant 'for sale' bag, covered by a bunch of crap.
+ i can sell those things to earn some money.
- it looks like only two of my ebay items are going to sell.
+ i'll be making money if/when i accept this job offer that i really want.
- the salary is kind of low.
+ i can always try to negotiate the salary to a more acceptable amount.
- the guy who's hiring me is out of town all week.
+ i have more time to plan out my negotiation strategy.
- i don't like being in this 'limbo state' between getting an offer and accepting it/starting work.
+ i'll still be able to keep my current job until i start that one.
- the library is booooring.
+ i hardly do any work there but still get paid.
- even so, i've managed to be late for/miss work nearly half the time.
+ it's okay, because at least i'm operating at my own pace.
- i don't like the habits that being consistently lazy about work are instilling in me.
+ habits can always be kicked.
- they take a very long time and a whole lot of will to kick.
+ i'm down to smoking only 4-5 cigarettes a day.
- 28-35 minutes off my life every day.
+ i watched some fucking sick anti-smoking videos today and they really made me consider trying to quit.
- then what will i do with my time? fall into a bottomless pit of thinking and feeling down?
+ more time to make music, read, etc.
- i'm presently uninspired, just playing my two finished songs over and over again.
+ at least you'll get better at playing them.
- even so, people say my voice sucks.
= OH WELL WHAT CAN YA DO.
+ stop whining, that's what. do somethin' about it.
- this limbo state is annoying. for some reason it feels like i -didn't- get the job, even though it's already been offered to me.
+ but i DID get an offer.
- if the guy's out of town all week maybe he'll rethink it and retract the offer.
= THAT'S THE KIND OF DUMB THINKING THAT RUINS EVERYTHING.
+ stop whining.
? i feel like 'leaving everything behind, getting in the car and never coming back again', again.
= i think i'm just afraid of falling into another undesirable routine.
+ maybe i'll end up really enjoying my new job.
? maybe.
+ and if not i can always leave everything behind get in the car and never come back again!
! yeah!
= ridiculous entry.
+ least it cheered myself up a bit, that's all that matters... this ain't no blog.
on that note -- i know this song is incredibly old, but if you haven't ever heard it -- or haven't in a while -- well, yr in for a treat.
A Nervous Tic Motion of the He - Andrew Bird
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